Adolescent Group: Maturity and Emotional Intelligence

Adolescent Group lesson plan for a mental health or home setting.

Discusses Maturity, Emotional Intelligence, Discipline, Parenting styles, Accountability.

Click the lesson plan link to open the printable lesson plan with handouts in google documents.

Maturity and Emotional Intelligence

Pass out the three handouts and collect the one about parenting styles.

On white board write the words in quotations. Ask the group how they defined the words and write their answers next to the word.

What does the word “discipline” mean to you?
What does the word “mature” mean to you?
What does the word “accountable” mean to you?
What do the words “emotional intelligence” mean to you?

Write the following definitions below the group members’ responses.
Discipline - Teaching or learning. Regulation of behaviors and emotions. Training that molds moral character. Orderly conduct. If you don’t have self-discipline, you will be disciplined by others.

Mature - Showing the mental, emotional, or physical characteristics associate with a fully developed adult person

Accountable - Responsible to someone or for something. Accepting Responsibility

Emotional Intelligence - personal attributes that enable people to succeed in life, including self-awareness, empathy, self-confidence, and self-control

Discuss the following characteristics of people who are Immature

 (Remember - EVERYTHING takes practice)

Easily Angered - The emotionally immature person does not react well when life does not turn out the way he thinks it should. If an outcome falls short of his expectation, he throws a tantrum, shouts, swears or makes a scene in some other way. In addition, he may become combative or belligerent. Having a meltdown is the only way an emotionally immature person deals with frustration or disappointment.

Avoidance of Personal Responsibility - When you tell stories about your life are you the victim, hero, or villain? A sure sign of emotional immaturity is your unwillingness or inability to take responsibility for your actions. You constantly casts yourself as the victim when recounting disagreements with others or when describing unpleasant events that involve you. You are unable to see how your own actions may have contributed to these circumstances. And you may even become defensive or antagonistic if others try to point out the part that you played in your misfortune.

Self-Centeredness in Conversation - Take note of the way you converse with others. If you're emotionally immature, you will find a way to steer every conversation to yourself. You’ll ensure that regardless of how a conversation begins, it will be about you by the time it ends. You may also have a hard time listening authentically to others and showing genuine concern or empathy for them. Such concern and empathy come from having an emotional awareness of others, and if you’re emotionally immature you may find this concept difficult to grasp. Instead you may focus on talking than listening.

Flawed Thinking - Flawed thinking may be a sign of emotional immaturity. The emotionally immature person finds it difficult to think things through logically. You will often jump to conclusions hastily or misinterpret social cues. In addition, you may have beliefs about yourself or the world that make it hard for you to see the error in your thinking, and this is because you rarely consider the possibility that your thought process might need adjustment. You don't take seriously the perspectives of others that may differ from your own.

Parenting styles book discussion: How to raise your parents

Have each member of the group write down examples of Developing Emotional Intelligence and Maturity on their handout.

1. Get in touch with your emotions. Ask yourself what you are feeling, then try to put names and labels on those feelings. Some forms of meditation can help you in this regard as they make it easier to see and recognize specific feelings.
2. Control yourself, but not in a bad way; simply monitor yourself and don't react. Excuse yourself from a potentially explosive situation. Take a walk, breathe deep, count to 10 backwards. Make a rule not to respond to the "button pushers" until much later after you've cooled down. Talk slowly, and if the situation demands immediate attention, keep your voice at a low volume.
3. See the Big Picture and think about your impact on other people. Consider how your words and actions will affect your neighbors, co-workers, family members or organization. Think before pushing the button on that email or complaining about someone verbally. Consider the ramifications and ripple affects of your emotions.
4. Honor the concept of teamwork, and try to be an encouraging team member at work, at home and in your community. Support your supervisor or spouse. Protect a child from a bully. Become a vital link on any formal or informal team, and exhibit a high level of emotional intelligence.
5.Give yourself time and be patient. It took time to learn impatience or emotional reactions, and it will take time to unravel them and build better behaviors. Don't be discouraged, though; it can be done.
6. Change the way you think and talk. There is a big difference between the way a child and an adult speak. Speak with confidence and reason. Make your decisions based on reason instead of emotions. 7. Take on more responsibility. To be more mature you should look for ways to be responsible for things in your house. Take responsibility for the choices you make in life. Don’t blame others for your circumstances.
8. Do things for yourself. It’s easy to pass of a task or a job to other people. Instead of taking the easy way out, start doing things for yourself. Learning how to complete more tasks will make you more mature and increase your confidence. If you don’t know how to do something, don’t be afraid to learn.
9. Care about other people. Selfishness is a common ingredient in immature people. Care about other people’s needs and help other people be successful.
10. Be more self-aware. Many people struggle with understanding themselves. Understand why you have the opinions that you have and why you do the things your dol. Be able to express your feelings and communicate them effectively.

Hand-out

Below are examples or parenting styles Which description most closely describes your parents? Read each one before answering. Select only the best answer.

Nags you to talk about your feelings and spending time with the family
Frequently says things like “How do you feel about that?”
Enjoys listening to National Public Radio, watching British Broadcasting Company news, gardening Doesn’t read magazines. Only reads the newspaper
Promotes family meetings to talk about your problems
Is found hanging out at Whole Foods shopping for organic granola, Free-range chicken, and shade-grown coffee

Nags you about your grades, ACT/SAT scores, your college aspirations, when you’re late for school Frequently says things like “Algebra is easy. If I did it, you can do it.”
Enjoys doing crossword puzzles and watching Jeopardy
Favorite Magazine is Scientific American Bars all TV for extended periods of time
Is often found with her nose in a book or wandering around the local art museum. She gets a slightly dazed expression when deep in thought

Nags you about whom you’re dating, whom your friends are dating, the latest school gossip
Frequently says things like “That is so wack”
Enjoys shopping, going to the gym, listening to pop music
Favorite magazine is Cosmopolitan
Grounds you for life
This parent can often be seen working on the elliptical machine at the gym. She will be completely made up.
Other favorite locales are the mall and local nail salon.

Nags you about what colleges you get into, how many hours a day you spend on the computer Frequently says things like “If you’re going to get into Princeton”
Enjoys golf, tennis, and reading the Wall Street Journal
Favorite magazine is Travel + Leisure Takes away your allowance
This parent is known to frequent Starbucks and can be overheard ordering a “grande, half-caff, no-foam, one-shot-of-vanilla latte

Nags you about your little brother’s every want and need, when you borrow your sister’s jeans without asking
Frequently says things like, “Can’t you be more like your older sister?”
Enjoys talking about your siblings to anyone who will listen
Favorite Magazine is Parents, of course
Lets your older brother take the car, even when you already have plans with your BFF
This parent follows the favorite child to his hockey game, karate, class, and debate tournament

Nags you about your latest physics test score, how much time you spend on your cell phone, chewing gum, talking with your mouth full, how your shirt doesn’t match those shoes, how you’re spending too much time with your friends, how you aren’t being a good friend, how you answer your phone saying, “yeah”
Frequently says things like, “I need to know where you’re going, who you’re going with, and when you’re going to be home”
Enjoys PTA, Book Club, throwing dinner parties
Favorite Magazine is Martha Stewart Living
Calls your cell phone every minute to check in Is busy buzzing from work to after-school activities, the grocery store, and everywhere else.
This parent likes to do everything because he/she does it “correctly”

Developing Emotional Intelligence and Maturity - have members of the group complete their blank handout as you discuss the following

1. Get in touch with your emotions. Ask yourself what you are feeling,then try to put names and labels on those feelings. Some forms of meditation can help you in this regard as they make it easier to see and recognize specific feelings.
2. Control yourself, but not in a bad way; simply monitor yourself and don't react. Excuse yourself from a potentially explosive situation. Take a walk, breathe deep, count to 10 backwards. Make a rule not to respond to the "button pushers" until much later after you've cooled down. Talk slowly, and if the situation demands immediate attention, keep your voice at a low volume.
3. See the Big Picture and think about your impact on other people. Consider how your words and actions will affect your neighbors, co-workers, family members or organization. Think before pushing the button on that email or complaining about someone verbally. Consider the ramifications and ripple affects of your emotions.
4. Honor the concept of teamwork, and try to be an encouraging team member at work, at home and in your community. Support your supervisor or spouse. Protect a child from a bully. Become a vital link on any formal or informal team, and exhibit a high level of emotional intelligence.
5.Give yourself time and be patient. It took time to learn impatience or emotional reactions, and it will take time to unravel them and build better behaviors. Don't be discouraged, though; it can be done.
6. Change the way you think and talk. There is a big difference between the way a child and an adult speak. Speak with confidence and reason. Make your decisions based on reason instead of emotions. 7. Take on more responsibility. To be more mature you should look for ways to be responsible for things in your house. Take responsibility for the choices you make in life. Don’t blame others for your circumstances.
8. Do things for yourself. It’s easy to pass of a task or a job to other people. Instead of taking the easy way out, start doing things for yourself. Learning how to complete more tasks will make you more mature and increase your confidence. If you don’t know how to do something, don’t be afraid to learn.
9. Care about other people. Selfishness is a common ingredient in immature people. Care about other people’s needs and help other people be successful.
10. Be more self-aware. Many people struggle with understanding themselves. Understand why you have the opinions that you have and why you do the things your dol. Be able to express your feelings and communicate them effectively.