Bullying
“Are you a bully”? Questionnaire
“Is this bullying” sheet
Click here for handout: Are you a bully?
Click here for handout: Is this bullying? Print page one for each member of the group to complete prior to the discussion. Page two is your reference for the answers
Who in here has been a bully.
Why?
Kids bully for a variety of reasons.
They are jealous of the person they are bullying.
They hang out with other bullies and want to look cool and fit it with their group.
They don’t have many friends and feel left out.
They don’t have high self-esteem and don’t like themselves so they want to make others not like themselves, too.
They need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, powerful or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, that's not always the case.
Sometimes kids torment others because that's the way they've been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry and shouts or calls each other names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness — people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.
Types of bullying
Physical. This type of bullying includes hitting, tripping and kicking, as well as destruction of a child's property.
Verbal. Verbal bullying includes teasing, name-calling, taunting and making inappropriate sexual comments.
Psychological or social. This type of bullying involves spreading rumors about a child, embarrassing him or her in public, or excluding him or her from a group.
Electronic. Cyberbullying involves using an electronic medium, such as email, websites
What can you do if you are bullied?
Ignore it. Ignore the hurtful remarks, by acting uninterested or texting someone. By showing the bully you don’t care he will probably get bored.
Avoid the bully and use the buddy system.
Be assertive. Clearly and firmly tell the bully to stop then walk away.
Hold the anger. Bullies thrive on you getting upset. It makes them fell more powerful.
Spend time with friends who have a positive influence. Participate in clubs, sports, or other enjoyable activities builds strength and friendships.
Write down the details - the date, who was involved and what specifically happened. Save screenshots, emails, and texts. Record the facts as objectively as possible.
Ask for a copy of the school policy on bullying.
Tell someone.
Who can you go to if you are bullied?
Some one you trust: Parents, teachers, counselors, school nurse, a sibling, and friend, physically attacked or threatened with harm call the police and/or an attorney.
How can you stop being a bully?
Apologize to people you've bullied, and follow it up by being friendly to them. They may not trust you right away, but eventually they'll see that you're for real.
If you're having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. Pick up a new hobby, do volunteer work, or get involved with a sport.
If you feel like you're having trouble controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to a school counselor about it.
There are many reasons to kick the bully habit. Many bullies grow up into adults who bully their families, friends, and co-workers, causing all sorts of problems with relationships and careers. It's hard to think about the future when you're feeling something here and now, but take a moment to see how your behavior may be laying down some pretty negative groundwork.
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